


I Can't

by RobinsonsWereHere



Category: Lost in Space (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Family Feels, Feels, I cried while writing this, Married Couple, Missing Scene, Tears, The Author Regrets Nothing, You Have Been Warned, episode: s02 e10 Ninety-Seven, may have been listening to sad music as well, this will hurt you, yeah I just keep hurting Maureen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:06:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24965686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinsonsWereHere/pseuds/RobinsonsWereHere
Summary: Missing scene from 2x10. As a scientist, Maureen knows that Judy's "imperfect solution" is the best way to save at least some of their family, some of everyone's family. But as a mother, she's not sure she'll be able to handle saying goodbye to her kids.[This is a more in-depth version of the breakdown scene, y'all]
Relationships: John Robinson/Maureen Robinson
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	I Can't

**Author's Note:**

> I have entirely too many emotions after finally finishing season 2. I love them all so much, especially Maureen. And I'm quite prone to hurting the characters I love the most :) so yeah, in case you missed it in the tags and summary, this is a continuation of the breakdown scene where Maureen ends up sobbing in John's arms.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” Maureen barely looks at John, concentrating all of her energy on not breaking down in front of her kids. But her control is a thin, fraying thread, and she knows she can’t hold it together much longer.

John follows her without question into one of the outer hallways of the J2, both of them silent as they leave. Maureen begins to pace, trying to get her breathing under control, but before she’s completed a full lap, she finds herself throwing her arms around John’s neck, clinging to him like he’s the only thing holding her up. Even that doesn’t last long; sobs tear from her throat and her knees give out.

“I can’t,” she whispers hoarsely. 

John follows her down, holding her close as they kneel on the cold metal floor. He kisses her hair, his arms wrapping around her to keep her from shaking apart completely. “I know,” he murmurs. “I know.”

“I can’t leave them. _We_ can’t leave them,” she protests.

“God, Maureen, I know,” John repeats. She doesn’t look up, but from the thickness of his voice she suspects she’s not the only one crying right now. “I’ve left too many times already. It might kill me to let go again. But we have to… you know we have to.”

Desperation and fear and heartbreak swamp Maureen once again, and for a few minutes she can do nothing but give into the fresh wave of sobs that tear from her chest. John holds her close, his hands cupping her face and his forehead against hers. Now she knows she’s not the only one crying. She doesn’t know if the tears streaking her face are hers or his.

“Everything we’ve done--” she gasps from breath, still choking on tears-- “we’ve done for them. You came back for them. I lied, I cheated, I stole for them.” She clings even tighter to him, her hands curling into his shirt. “It’s my fault we’re here. It’s all my fault.”

“No, no, Maureen,” John kisses her gently, but she pulls away. “Maureen, it’s not your fault. It could never be your fault.”

“I’m the reason we’re about to lose our children,” she whispers.

John leans back, holding her face in his hands. “Maureen, no. Don’t say that. _Don’t._ If it weren’t for you, we would be dead so many times over.”

She leans into him, her head falling into the crook of his neck. “I can’t leave them, John. I’m not strong enough.”

“Me neither, baby,” he murmurs. “But they’ll be safe. They’ll make it to the colony. It’s the only way to save them.”

Maureen takes a deep, shaky breath. “They’ll be safe. They have to be safe.”

John nods, rubbing her back. “They’ll make it to the colony, Maureen. And you and I… we’ll still have each other.”

She looks up at him, her eyes and his glassy with tears. “This is our last chance,” she whispers, “isn’t it?”

John shakes his head. “I don’t know. I don’t know. But if we don’t take it, we might not get another one.”

“You’re right,” she murmurs. “You’re right. Judy’s right. We have to do this.” She leans against him, suddenly very, very tired. “We have so much to do.”

John kisses her hair, then her forehead, then her cheek, then her lips. She lets her eyes drift closed, lets herself appreciate the soft, loving touch, for just a moment. But when they break apart to breathe, Maureen takes a deep breath and stands, only a little shaky. “John?”

He nods, picking himself up off the floor. “Yeah, let’s go,” he says.

Maureen swallows and turns toward the door. “No time to waste.” But as she grabs the handle, John takes her hand gently, making her pause.

“Maureen?”

“Hm?”

“We still have each other,” he repeats, echoing his previous statement. “I love you.”

She can barely muster a smile. “I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I love to see comments and kudos, if you liked it. And if you want to reach out even more, I'm bijulesohara on tumblr!


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